Social Awareness

Automatic Trust in Parents and Bosses

Why do people sometimes 'never learn' from repeated examples of abusive parents or manipulative bosses?

The situation

A person in authority asks to be trusted. You are thinking about how their role relates to their actions.

Why do people sometimes 'never learn' from repeated examples of abusive parents or manipulative bosses?

A. Because automatic thinking can be stronger than evidence when people do not practise questioning assumptions.B. Because abusive behaviour is always obvious to everyone immediately.C. Because every complaint about authority is false.D. Because learning means defending the strongest person in the room.

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Another perspective

When people keep telling you your opinion is wrong

Whenever you share an opinion or belief, some people argue, tell you that you are wrong or judge your character. Sometimes they give a reason; other times they simply dismiss you. You start doubting yourself, but you also do not want to become someone who refuses to learn. How can you tell whether your view is reasonable without needing everyone to approve of it?

When a work call makes your day off feel unsafe

Your manager calls without warning in the evenings, at weekends and even during your holiday. Sometimes they shout or blame you before you can explain. Even on days when nobody calls, you keep checking your phone and worry about what might happen if you miss it. You struggle to enjoy time with family, feel tense when your phone rings and find it difficult to switch off. Someone says, 'It is only a short phone call. Why let it spoil your whole day?'

Always available: when work takes over your life

Your job regularly spills into evenings and weekends. You are expected to answer messages at any time, even during meals or time off. You feel guilty switching off, sleep poorly, struggle to concentrate and feel increasingly irritable and exhausted. A colleague says, 'Everyone works like this. Your body will get used to it.' You wonder how long you can keep going before you burn out.

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